Latch
by Chelsea Oz
Summary: Dill comes to town early in the summer of '42 to cheer up Scout when her brother goes off to war. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

The summer of '42 was a hard one. My brother had gone off to war and I was missing him terribly. I cried when we hugged goodbye at the train station. I loved Jem and I knew I was going to miss him like I would miss my writing hand if someone had cut it off. It may not be the prettiest analogy ever but that's how my mind works.

"Don't cry, Scout. I'm coming back," he told me.

"Do you promise me?"

"Would I lie to you?"

"No because you know if you ever did I would slap the shit out of you!"

"Jean Louise Finch," Atticus said in a stern voice.

"Sorry, Atticus," I apologized. That day was probably much harder for him than it was for me and believe me, waving my brother Jem goodbye was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life to date.

"I guess it's just you and me," I told him as I hugged his ever-aging body.

"That's not entirely true. We still have Calpurnia and Dill will be back in town soon."

"A few days feels like a few years, Atticus."

It really did feel that way to me. I was a young woman now, my brother off to war, my Atticus and my Cal getting older by the day. My youth was already beginning to slip through my fingers and I couldn't be in denial about it. I was actually sad to see the school year end which was scared me considering me and the school system were never friends. That last day of school I actually cried on my way home. When I rounded the corner to my home I began to cry a different set of tears. Only happiness poured out of my eyes when I saw Dill standing there on my porch, waiting for me to come home. I ran to him, threw my open arms around his neck while he twirled me around.

"How did you manage to come here so soon?" I asked as soon as he put me down.

"I knew you'd be feeling bad lately and I got out of school a day early to come here."

"You're amazing."

"Hey," he said taking my hands in his. "Let's go down to the Eddy."

"Okay, I just got to grab my swimsuit and..."

"Just wear your bra and panties."

"Dill!" I exclaimed while I examined my surroundings. I was especially hoping Cal hadn't heard him. She had been getting more and more suspicious about the exact nature of our relationship over the years. I couldn't blame her anymore than I could pretend that there wasn't something between us.

"Jean Louise," Cal summoned as soon as I saw her face from the window.

"Cal, Dill and I are going down to the Eddy for a few hours."

"You two better not be foolin' around down there!"

"Cal!"

"It's all right, Cal," Dill said, wrapping his arm around me. Like that was really helping our situation. "Nothing bad's gonna happen."

"Mm-hm! You just better behave, Scout. Have a good time."

"Thanks, Cal."

Dill and I walked to the Eddy with our hands linked again. It felt so good to have him here at last. A part of me felt born again and all of my sadness slipped away. Dill was a human remedy for depression as far as I was concerned. It takes a while to get to Barker's Eddy but I didn't mind the walk as long as he was by my side. When we finally got there, I found it surprising we were the only ones down there. Dill then stripped off his shirt and jeans only to be wearing his boxer shorts.

"Dill Harris!"

"Hey, I swam here a million times with your brother more naked than this."

"Yeah, my brother. I'm supposed to be a lady, remember?"

"You knew you never were a lady!" He shouts back as he jumps in and splashes me in the process. I could only laugh.

"Come on in, Scout," he says.

"I'm coming," I say, biting the bullet and taking off my dress. It did feel freeing, not gonna lie. I just hoped nobody but Dill would notice. Dill did notice all right and I could tell by the look on his face he didn't mind. I calmy dive into the warm water as I breaststroke to where Dill was standing. He picked me up by the shoulders and held me in the air.

"Put me down!" I yelled.

"Never!"

Well, he lost his balance and we both fell over into the deep. He had held on to me the whole time and we both came up laughing. That was when an airplane flew above us and the laughter stopped. All it did was make me think of Jem and Dill sensed it.

"You're thinking about Jem aren't you?"

"Yes," I say, crying again. This was so much harder than I imagined. Dill then kissed my lips and gathered me into a hug. I held on to him with all I had and then he would hold me even tighter. I don't know why I thought of Cal but her warning of us not fooling around rang in my ears. Cal, no foolin', this is love.

"Thank you," I said, kissing his cheek.

"For what?" He asked, kissing my cheek back.

"For being here for me."

"You, too. You are the best friend that I've ever had."

"And you're mine."

Oh how I wished we could have stayed there forever that way. Standing in Barker's Eddy, half-naked and hugging, telling each other how much we meant to each other...


	2. Leave A Tender Moment Alone

I was startled to see how time managed to get away from us. The sun was still beating down as we sprawled out on the rocky beach, holding hands. I must have drifted off to sleep because I awoke to find my skin as red as the sunset.

"Oh my Lord! Dill!"

"What?" He asked me in a very groggy voice. He must have fallen asleep himself. "Oh shit, Scout!"

"Yeah," I agreed, scrambling to find my dress. I was going to catch so much crud from Calpurnia when I got home. She's going to have a fit about us coming home so late, me being so sunburnt. I look down at my belly as I put my dress back on and I find it is the reddest part of me. Oh great, now she can have a fit about me being out here half-naked too! Atticus as well for that matter. Gee, I never gave him a second thought. Going home tonight is not going to go well.

"It'll all be all right," Dill tells me. He obviously senses what I'm feeling. I'm ready to go by now and he takes my hand but I don't take it this time. I start to sprint as fast as I can.

"What are you running like a mad woman for?"

"The sooner I get home, the less likely I could be killed and if you weren't such a dope, you would be thinking the same!"

"Well hold on! I'm coming!"

He was just as fast as I was and it wasn't too long before he was along beside me again. I giggled as we realized how we were huffing in harmony. We didn't say another word to each other until we hit Alabama Avenue in front of Miss Rachel's house. Amazingly nobody was out on their porch right now. It felt nice to not have an audience around for the verbal whipping I was sure to get.

"Goodnight, Scout," Dill says with a kiss on my cheek.

"Goodnight, Dill," I kiss him back. "I hope we're still alive tomorrow morning."

"Scout, if you can survive Bob Ewell, you can survive anything!" I just laugh as he takes off with that comment. I guess he was right. I walk back to my house still with a sense of dread. I solemnly walk up back porch steps and sigh as I walk in. Calpurnia was indeed there waiting for me.

"You look like an over ripe tomato," she said to me in all seriousness.

"I know, Cal," I said. What was I to say?

"I hope that redness and sweat was from the sun."

"Yes'm."

I made sure to look her in the eye on that one. I am not lying and I want to make sure I get that through her head. I know I'm young and I'm in a stage of love I've never understood until now, but I am not totally irresponsible. I don't blame her for being a little apprehensive about my situation but her lack of trust is what really drives me crazy.

"I got some leftover cabbage salad and meatloaf in the icebox for you."

"Thank you but I'm not really hungry right now," I am just thankful she changed the subject.

"You should go get in the tub and clean off," she orders rather than suggests.

"That's exactly what I'm going to do," I wasn't lying then either. I walk into the living room and I see Atticus sitting in the rocking chair, reading the newspaper and listening to the radio at the same time.

"Hey, Atticus," I say, quietly. I don't want to disturb him too much.

"Hi, baby," he says not looking up from his paper. I was shocked. He hadn't called me "Baby" in so long that I almost wanted to cry when he said it. I wanted him to repeat himself but I thought the better of it. I just walked away and into my cool bathtub. I knew how to leave a tender moment alone.


	3. I've Got You, Babe

A bath was just what I needed. It cooled me down while it helped wash away everything I was feeling. Lust for Dill, frustration towards Cal, sadness for Atticus, and lonliness at the thought of Jem not being around. Tears plopped down into the bathwater and it made the bath seem like a puddle while it rained. I don't think I've ever felt so many emotions at once in my life and I don't know if I can handle them all.

My crying didn't stop with the bath, either. As soon as I heard Atticus drive off to take Cal home I dried off and wept all the way to my bedroom. With my nightdress on, I took off to my window and looked out into the night. The stars and the moon were out and lit up the neighborhood. I could see lights out at Miss Rachel and Dill's place. I was glad; I didn't want Dill to see me crying again. I can still see his heartbroken face as I began to cry at the Eddy. Believe me Dill, I didn't want me to cry either. I can't seem to help it anymore. I looked back at the sky again and began to pray.

"Oh, Lord, I don't know what the sky looks like in Europe, but please send Jem some stars and tell him they're from me. Tell him I love him and I miss him very much. He would probably tease me for acting like such a girl but I guess I am one and I can't help it..."

I had to take a pause and reflect on what I just said. It's been a while since he teased me about acting my gender. How old did I think we were anyway? Was a part of me permanently eight or something? I wish I was eight; even though stuff happened, I would love to be in my overalls again and not have to be questioned about how much time I was spending with Dill. Nor would I have to deal with this pain of my brother leaving home to fight in a world war. Isn't that ridiculous? Why couldn't this world leave my brother alone? Doesn't the world know how much my poor brother has been through without it's own stupid war? I'm crying so hard I can't breathe.

That was when I heard a car pull up in our driveway. It was Atticus; oh no! I had to pull myself together. He is under so much strain the last thing he needs is to see how distressed I am. I breathe in as deeply as I breathe out. The cold water I splash onto my face shocks my hot tears. I shiver as I hear him enter our house.

"Scout?"

"Yes," I say, trying to stay calm, cool and collected. I dash out of my room and into the living room where he was taking off his shoes and hat. He turned to look at me with concern.

"You're red," he said.

"What, sir?"

"You got surnburnt and your eyes...have you been crying, Scout?"

"Well, I..." I feel embarrassed. There was no trying to hide it now, though. "Yes, Atticus. I'm sorry."

My eyes began to water again. My embarrassment and shame was beginning to take over now. I don't understand why I'm not the strong little girl I once was.

"Come here," he said with his arms outstretched for me. I practically run to him as he holds me tight. I guess I'll always need my Atticus.

"You're okay, baby," he said to me with a kiss in my hair. "I've got you."


	4. The Man

"Atticus' right, Scout," Dill told me as he played with my hair. "You're okay."

I wasn't going to tell him about how I cried last night but I ended up doing it anyway. I guess I thought he deserved the right to know. We were back out at the Eddy again despite what happened yesterday. It was really the only safe haven Dill and I could find. Cal would be all over my house, watching us like a hawk with Miss Rachel doing the same at Dill's place. Going into town would have been difficult because of all the townfolk and Lord knows we would have done something before we did anything. Maycomb County was giving me less room to breathe.

"I just feel awful sometimes," I confessed.

"About what?"

"Everything... I don't even know how to explain it to ya, Dill," I wasn't even trying to attempt to explain as I rested my head in his lap. He began to rub my head and it felt so comforting. I turn my head and nuzzle his belly with my nose. He let out a laugh that got me laughing. Dill's laugh is as infectious as his ideas; both were beautiful to listen to. He rolled me back over so I could face him again. His smile slowly faded as he stared deep into my eyes.

"Listen, Scout," Dill commanded. "Believe Atticus; he is the smartest man on the planet. There was a time when you thought so."

"No past tense, Dill. I still do believe that he is."

"Me too."

"Remember when you first saw Mr. Nathan Radley?"

"Yeah," Dill shuddered while I laughed.

"Well, do you still believe my brother?"

"About what?"

"Don't you remember him saying Mr. Nathan was the meanest man?"

"He was. Do you know who the bestest man is?"

"Bestest? Is that even a word?"

"It is in my world."

"Okay, who is it?" I can only imagine what Dill's response is going to be.

"Boo Radley."

"Why him?" I was a little surprised by his answer. I sat up and waited for his explanation. He wrapped his arm around me as he gave my eyes another deep stare.

"For saving you and Jem that night. I love Jem; he's like a brother to me. And you..." he continued as he laid me back down on his lap. "I just love you."

"Well, I knew that."

"I mean it. I knew I loved you when I first saw you."

"Will you love me the last time you see me?"

"I hope that never happens," he said as he kissed my lips. I kiss him back harder; that was the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. He kissed my forehead as our lips departed and I rubbed his belly. The waves began to pick up and crash against the rocks we were sitting on. It was incredibly romantic being in Dill's arms and him rocking me to the beat of the water. I have never felt so much peace and comfort than I do now.

"It's getting close to dinnertime," Dill said.

"Did you have to tell me that? I don't want to go home," I grumble as I roll off him.

"Hey, at least we can have dinner together," he said as he picked himself up to his feet.

"True," I said slipping my hand in his. As we got going I realized how nice it was to walk home slowly from the Eddy for a change. I still felt relaxed and happy even as we moved into town and turned the corner onto our street. In a moment of uncaring, I had kissed his lips again. He was all too happy to kiss me again. I wondered how I had gotten so lucky to have a man so intelligent and charming want to kiss me, let alone sit at our table knowing Cal would be judging us all the while. He didn't even seem to flicker when she told him to sit in the chair opposite of me. I knew why soon enough; it was because he could taunt me with leg rubs with his foot under the table. Cal wondered why I was so giddy about nothing that night...


	5. What Hurts The Most

_Dear Scout and Atticus,_

_I wanted so badly for my first letter to you both to be a happy one. I can honestly say that I just can't do that. This feels like hell that the two of you already knew it would be. It's not even the training and the nerves of upcoming battle that get to me; it's the fact that nothing in "Great" Britain feels great. I miss Maycomb County's hot humid summers with never-ending sunshine. You wouldn't believe how miserable the summers are here! June here is pretty much December in Maycomb and it rains all the time. I don't know if it's from England's horrible climate or stress from my daily routine or both but I have never felt so tired in my whole life. I live for the limited amount of coffee I get to have. Everything in moderation goes for everything because everything has been rationed down to nothing._

_I hope everything is okay in Maycomb. Dill should be there by now and I know you must be happy, Scout. You deserve to be and so don't you, Atticus. Please don't let this letter make you feel sad. I'm sure I'm just having a hard time adjusting to what's going to be my new routine. Nobody said war was easy and nice. Hopefully I can cheer up for my next letter._

_I love you and miss you both,_

_Jeremy Finch_

_P.S- Tell Calpurnia I say "Hey," won't you?_

I sighed a horrible breath as Atticus finished reading the letter to me. My poor brother; I feel just awful for him. I can feel tears welling up in my eyes but I'm not going to cry, not tonight. Jem didn't want me or Atticus to feel bad so I am going to try to be happy.

"He makes me happy that I'm right where I am," I say, trying to lighten the mood.

"You should be," he said, a little defensive.

"Sorry, Atticus," I tell him as I put my hand on his shoulder. I was not helping the situation any.

"No need," he replied, recoiling from my touch. He got up out of the chair and walked away. I sat there feeling as though him walking away was like a slap to my face. The older I get the more I begin to realize how much I really didn't know my father. The older Atticus gets the moody he seems to become. Last night he was hugging me, telling me I was okay and tonight he acted as if I was in the way and a nusance. I wonder if he's been hanging around Cal for too long.

"Atticus?" I call out to my father.

"Yes, Scout?"

I don't know if he looked at me when he answered me. I felt as though I just couldn't look at him right now as much as I wanted him. My eyes never left the family room floor.

"Good night," I pretty much whispered. That's all I really wanted to say.

"Good night, Scout," he said, once again turning around and walking away from me. I watched as his footsteps lead him to his bedroom. It wasn't until I heard the door shut that I went into my bedroom. My plan not to cry didn't work and I tried to not let my crying be heard, as hurt as I felt. I cried myself to sleep that night only to hear Atticus' footsteps again sometime around midnight. He was heading right for my doorknob and I immeadiately rolled over and pretended to be asleep.

"I'm sorry, baby," I heard him whisper as he shut my bedroom door again. He seriously thought I was still asleep and I planned on keeping it that way. I waited until he was out of earshot when I whispered back to him:

"It's okay, Atticus."


	6. Buttons

"Poor Jem," Dill said with digust. He had just read Jem's letter and I wish he hadn't. I told him not to, that it would only make him upset but he read it anyway. There was no hiding the pain in Dill's eyes and I felt heartbroken for him. Jem was always the brother that Dill never had and vice versa. I wrapped my arms around Dill's neck and kissed his cheek. It was all I knew how to do to make him feel better.

"I'll never know how you do it, Scout," Dill said, my arms still glued to him.

"Do what?"

"Live your life."

I couldn't help but laugh at that. Of course I live my life! What else am I supposed to do? Live his life? Somebody else's life? If that's a joke, it's a bad one.

"Well, it ain't easy but I do it anyway," I say, only half-kidding.

"I mean it, Scout," he mumbled, untangling himself from me. Gee, I didn't think I would upset him this much with that comment. Seems I'm really good at saying all the wrong things these days.

"Don't be mad at me. It's bad enough I stuck my foot in my mouth last night with Atticus."

"I'm not mad at you."

"You act like it."

"I'm just mad because you're the most wonderful girl I know and your life is miserable."

"I never thought it was that miserable..."

"Think about it, Scout," Dill said, looking at me dead in the eyes. I was getting uneasy. "Your mother dies on you..."

"Hey, she couldn't help it!"

"...That whole Tom Robinson trial..."

"Atticus had to do what he had to do..."

"That trial almost cost your life!"

"Nothing happened to me though," I said getting up and walking over to meet his eyes. I was starting to get riled up and nothing good happens when I get that way. I take Dill's ugly face in my hands to make sure his eyes are still on me when I tell him what I'm about to say:

"I'm still here!"

"Thank God," he concluded with a kiss on my lips. I couldn't help but kiss his lips back. He pulls me into a hug while my arms reach for his neck again.

"It's getting hot in here," Dill said, letting me go.

"Well, it is summertime."

Dill began to unbutton his shirt and he had flung it off before I knew it. He still had a skinny stomach and small chest. There was nothing muscular about him and I found that attractive. Maybe it was the familiarity of his frame that was a comfort to me. Being the young woman I am slowly becoming, my body was nothing but change. I was still thin in the waist but my hips got a little wider and my breasts have definitely grown. I was ashamed and proud of them at the same time. They were a symbol of my new womanhood but they were bothersome and uncomfortable at times.

"I hope you don't mind," Dill said, laying down on my bed.

"Cal might if she were to walk in," I retort.

"She's out in the yard working," he then patted a spot next to him. "Come here and lay down."

"Dill," I really don't want to do this right now. This was my bedroom for goodness sake.

"Nothing's going to happen," Dill said. "Have I ever hurt you?"

"No."

"Well, I never will. Just come here, please?"

He did have a way of making things seem more comfortable. I climb into my bed and slither into his arm. He kissed my temple as soon as I took my place. I hope he realizes that this isn't going to make his body heat go away though. Mine was beginning to rise and I unbuttoned the first two on my dress. I contemplated undoing the third one but my cleavage was showing enough as it was. Dill was staring at me with a smile so wicked that it made me go stupid and finally unbuttoned number three. He kissed my temple again and I snuggled a little closer to him.

"Ahem!"

I never heard Cal enter the house...


	7. Uncensored

I lay there next to Dill completely frozen. We didn't know what to do or what to say in this situation. Sure, it didn't look good but we were totally innocent. I wasn't about to fight Cal over it though because she was going to think what she thought anyway. I waited for her to say something and I almost peed myself when words started coming out of her mouth.

"Both of you, get up now!" She hissed. We were both up and standing like soldiers in no time. I quickly glanced to see the clock on the wall read 5:02. Atticus would be here any second now.

"Dill, you go fetch the scissors from the kitchen and come back here with me and Scout."

He ran out of my room and down the hall. He couldn't have gotten out of there fast enough. I sighed a heavy breath. Cal never took her eyes off of me and her glare was burning my skin more than the sun ever could. It was record time before Dill did indeed report back with the scissors. Cal grabbed them and came a little closer to me. Me and Dill gulped at what she may do next. We both stood in silent horror as she snipped off my top three buttons.

"You will wear this dress to dinner," she ordered. "If you can show your breasts to Dill than you could certainly show them to the rest of us. You just be thankful that your Auntie wasn't here to see this."

She had turned around and walked out of the room as if nothing just happened. Tears of anger and embarrassment began to well up in my eyes. This is by far the worst thing Cal has ever done to me. How could she be so cruel? She was an old woman years ago who has only grown older and I wondered if maybe that's why she is the way she has become. I'm trying my best to practice what Atticus preaches and put myself in her skin. I just can't do it right now, I am too hurt.

"Scout, I'm home," Atticus called out for me. I looked at Dill and sighed again. I'm going to give Cal the satisfaction and let him see me like this.

"Hey, Atticus," I say as if my ego isn't dying a horrible death. I heard Dill walking behind me.

"What happened to your dress?"

"I like wearing it like this," I say. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Cal spying on me. I had to turn my attention back to Atticus to keep from losing it. His look of bewilderment did not help me.

"Dinner's ready Mr. Finch," Cal came out to say. "You can stay for dinner if you want to, Dill."

"Thank you, ma'am," Dill said with fake respect.

I walk ahead of both of them into the dining room. As hungry as I was I could not wait for this meal to be over. The ham was glazed with honey and pineapples and cloves. The potato salad was chunky and swimming in mayonnaise, mustard and spices. I couldn't have asked for a better dinner but I definitely could have asked for a better atmosphere. The table was mostly silent and I was almost afraid to speak.

"Are you okay, Scout?" Atticus finally asked. I just nodded my head as I stuffed more potato salad in my mouth.

"No, she isn't," Dill finally piped up. I could have flipped my lid.

"Well," Atticus said, rubbing my hair as I began to cry. "What's the matter, honey?"

Through my tears, I saw Dill walk over and whisper into Atticus' ear what had happened. My feeling of embarrassment felt a lot heavier and I buried my face in my hands. I still wondered how so much as an innocent cuddle could turn into this. I couldn't even face Atticus as I heard Dill stop whispering. I don't even want to know what Atticus must be thinking right now. I felt so dirty.

"Scout," Atticus finally said, playing with my hair again. "Why don't you go change? You don't have to wear that."

"It's my punishment though," I answer, my face not leaving my hands.

"I think you've learned from this expierience enough already. Go on and change if you want to and come back."

"You mean it?" I ask, finally looking at him.

"Yes," he said, smiling at me. I smile back at him and jump out of my chair to go to my room. Atticus grabbed my arm before I could, though. He had pulled me into a hug and kissed my cheek. I walk over to Dill as soon as I'm let go and I give him a hug.

"Thank you," I say to Dill. He didn't respond with words but with a kiss. I looked back at Atticus who only gave me a smile. That was when I walked out of the dining room. I was happy to see my room until I saw Cal standing there.

"Atticus said I could change," I told her defiantly.

"I know. That's okay," she replied, calmly.

"It is?" I say, surprised.

"Yes. If you give me that dress, I will sew the buttons back on if you'd like."

"Well, okay."

"Good," she said, leaving my room. "You know, Scout, I only did this to teach you a lesson. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"But you did," I couldn't hide the fact I was still angry with her. At least she knew enough to walk away from me in that moment.


	8. Laughter and Love

_Dear Jem,_

_I won't bother asking you how Europe is because I already know it's beyond miserable. The tone of your writing in your last letter to us let me know the horrible conditions that are taking over the news are not exaggeration. How I wish the world could just learn to get along. I wish things like this were as simple as telling one country to another that they are sorry, shake on never bothering one another again and going on their way. I wish you could come home and we can be happy and just forget that the world was ever going to hell in a handbasket. Why do I have a feeling you and I and everybody knows it's going to be a long, long time before that happens? Maybe by the grace of God we're wrong. _

_You wouldn't believe the day I've had today. Me and Dill were caught by Cal lying on my bed together. Absolutely nothing happened Jem, believe me. The main reason she freaked out was due to the fact the top part of my dress was unbuttoned and Dill had his shirt off. Did she forget it's Maycomb, Alabama and it gets like a million degrees here in the summer? Cal snipped off my buttons. You read that right, Jem, snipped them off with scissors. She made me go to dinner like that with Atticus and Dill. When Dill finally explained the situation to Atticus, he took it a lot better than I thought he would. He told me I could go change and Cal offered to sew my buttons back on. She apologize to me and I somewhat took it after I told her how bad she hurt my feelings. I haven't seen her since, Dill delivered my dress back to me, buttons and all before he took off to his Aunt's house for the night. I hope I didn't mean to hurt her feelings back but I thought that was pretty low of her to do. I could see Old Mrs. Dubose doing something like that but not her. Speaking of, I wonder if she ever made it to heaven? She may still be in purgatory because the devil's scared of her! Just trying to make you laugh here._

_Love you, _

_Scout_

I was just about to put my letter in an envelope until I had heard Atticus talking to someone outside. Curiousity ended up getting the better of me and I went to the window to see who he was talking to. It was none other than Miss Maudie Atkinson and they were both sitting on the swing. It didn't take me long to realize that they were talking about Cal and me.

"Maudie," Atticus said. "I love and appreciate Cal; heaven knows where we'd be without her. I've always trusted her judgement when it came to teaching the kids right from wrong while I was gone and how she went about teaching them a lesson. This is the first time where I think she stepped out of line."

"Well, she probably just got scared that they were fooling around," Maudie tried to reason. "She probably wasn't thinking clearly."

"Listen, I don't like the idea that my daughter's finding out what love feels like so young. I definitely am not crazy about the fact that she was found lying in bed with Dill. Yet, on the other hand, I knew this day would come and I know she has to figure this out for herself."

"I agree," Maudie said. "You just have to trust her and I believe you can. You have to trust Dill, too. The fact that he stayed with her and didn't run away shows that he doesn't have anything to hide."

"That's what I thought, too. I almost thank God it's Dill that she's going through this with. They have been friends ever since they were little people and I think he truly has a place in his heart for my girl."

My heart felt like it was going to explode. I never heard him refer to me as "his girl". I'm so lucky to have a father who loves me like he does. I run to my desk to grab my letter and pen.

_P.S- Isn't Atticus the best father that ever lived?_

That was when I heard them laughing and I ran back over to see what the fuss was about. I smile at the sight of my father laughing; it's actually been a while since I've seen or heard him do that. What Maudie did next shocked me: she unbuttoned the top part of her dress and wrapped her arm around Atticus.

"Hey, this could be fun," Maudie teased.

"Save it for Jack," Atticus joked, ever the gentleman.

"You're no fun," Maudie said with a playful punch to Atticus' shoulder. She then buttoned her dress back up and gave my father a kiss on the cheek. I only stayed long enough to watch Atticus kiss her cheek back and then ran back to my letter.

_P.S.S- Miss Maudie is so fiesty!_


	9. Power of Love

The summer was already flying by and I was disgusted by the idea of that. Disregarding Cal, this summer was going wonderfully. Not only was mine and Dill's relationship growing stonger but mine and Atticus' as well. Having a boy love a girl is an amazing thing but a girl who has a wonderful relationship with her father is even more amazing. I was always aware, even as a little girl that my father had some peculiarities which grew into moodiness at times, but as I grow older the more I have come to appreciate that. Atticus was and is human and he is open to showing me that even he is not perfect, but he is okay. I'm still trying hard to not cry sometimes but I remember Atticus and then I can remember that I'm okay, too.

It's funny how a front porch makes you think. Some of the best conversations I've had with other people or even by myself in my own head have taken place here. Then again, it's a good place to not think about anything at all. It's also a good place to come feel at peace at. Right now I'm looking at Miss Maudie tending to her geraniums and thinking about the other night. I still cannot believe she did what she did to Atticus. I always knew Miss Maudie was a spitfire but wow! That's probably why me and her always connected so well together...

"Jean Louise," she calls over to me. "What are you staring at?"

"You," I admit. I wasn't going to lie to her.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

"I'll come over there," I say getting off the swing. There is no need for the whole neighborhood to hear our upcoming conversation. I cross the street while giggling all the while. The closer I got the more her considerable sized rump was in my face and I can only recall the time I aimed my little BB gun at her while she was bent over. Atticus was furious to think I would ever do such a thing but I could only laugh at the memory now.

"What's on your mind?" She asked me, still plugging away at her garden. I could now face her front end and I could see the she was completely covered up.

"Undo a few of those," I say pointing to her dress. That made her pause and look up at me.

"I beg your pardon?" She asked.

"I'll take a picture of you and send it to Uncle Jack," I say.

"What in the world are you talking about?" She was starting to blush and then I felt like a jerk for acting the way I was.

"I'm sorry, Miss Maudie," I apologized.

"For what?" She was so confused.

"The other night when you were on our front porch with Atticus. When you unbuttoned your dress..."

"Jean Louise, you saw that?" Her confusion had definitely turned to mortification.

"Oh don't be ashamed, I thought it was funny."

"I did too until you just told me you knew about that!"

"I know you were just kidding. Don't be upset."

"Your father, your uncle and I have been friends for a lifetime..."

"I know, that's why I'm not upset. I was just surprised you did that."

That was when I noticed some white come back to her face with a smile. I smiled back, knowing that I had calmed her down made me feel good. She walked up to the porch to meet me with a kiss on my cheek. I kiss her back as she puts down her sheers and her water jug. She takes my face in her hands and then tells me something I will never forget:

"Remember the day I told you this," she began. "Thank your lucky stars you are a woman. Women have power that no other man could possess. Why do you think Atticus and Uncle Jack still want me around? You have power, use it."

Truth be told, I didn't quite know what she was talking about at the time. I stewed over it while she went inside to bring me a piece of cake she just baked. That was when I looked down the street and saw Dill pull into the driveway of his Aunt's house. I snuck down on Miss Maudie's porch to see what Dill brought home; he had been out of town shopping. I realized then that he looked at my house, on the porch and then back to my bedroom window. He was looking for me before he walked back into Miss Rachel's. Seeing that made me feel breathless.

"Jean Louise," I heard Miss Maudie come back out with my cake in hand.

"Shhh," I wasn't sure who I was trying to quiet, her or the butterflies loudly flapping their wings in my stomach. "I just found out that I do have power..."


	10. Hottest Day of the Year

The hottest day of the year calls for lemonade and a best friend. Cal had whipped up a double batch of lemon juice with a lethal amount of sugar, the way lemonade is supposed to be. Nothing gives you a buzz quite like Cal's lemonade. I only say this because I don't know what liquor can do to me yet.

"Good morning," Dill greets through the screen door window.

"Good morning, Dill," me and Cal greet him back in unison.

"Making lemonade today, ma'am?"

"Yes, sir," Cal replies while Dill wraps his arm around me and kisses my cheek. I don't kiss him back because I can see that black cornea of Cal's right on the edge, glaring at me. She's like a hawk and she's still got me and Dill for her prey.

"Let me pour you both some," she politely offers. "It's ready and it's hot out there. Day like today all of y'all are gonna need your liquids."

"Thanks Cal," I say as she hands me my full glass.

"Thanks Cal," Dill repeats me when she does the same for him.

"What are y'all doing today?"

"I don't know," I say while looking at Dill. "What are we doing today?"

"Want to just sit on the swing? It's too hot to walk all the way down to the Eddy."

"Sounds good to me," I say, taking his hand and heading out the screen door.

"Don't stay out too long, you'll get burnt," Cal warns as we are just outside.

"Okay, ma'am," Dill replies.

I was just happy that was all she had left to say. Although the wariness is still there, she is getting a lot better about having me and Dill just be. I don't know if Atticus secretly told her to back off or she did feel genuinely sorry about how she acted the first part of summer. I like to think it was the latter.

The wood of the porch and the dirt pavement burnt the soles of my bare feet. After all these years of hot Alabama summers, one would think I would know better than to do that. Dill, being the intelligent man that he is, had his casual shoes on with socks. He noticed my rather self-induced discomfort and picked me up. I don't remember anyone picking me up like this since Bob Ewell attacked Jem and I. Dill had carried me up the steps the same way Atticus had done all those years ago. It felt like heaven to me and I hated it when he gently put me on the swing. I took his face in my hands and kissed his lips. I hope the feeling of his lips never grows old.

"What's that in your pocket?" I asked when he sat down. I never noticed the bulge in his right pocket when he came into the house.

"It's my surprise for you," he replied with a swig of lemonade.

"For me?"

"Yeah," he set the lemonade down and got up to get my gift out of his pocket. He had unwrapped it and I realized it was a small box.

"Oh my God!" I gasped out loud. It was a ring! He bought me a ring!

"It's your birthstone: crystal. All April babies should have a crystal."

"It's beautiful," I say as he slips it on my right ring finger. He kneels down and rubs my legs.

"Scout," he says, still rubbing me. "I wouldn't call this an engagement ring but more like a promise ring."

"Promise ring?"

"Promise me that you will love me."

"I do, Dill. You'll always be a part of me. I love you."

"I love you."

That was when we hugged each other. It was one of those never-let-me-go's. I glanced over to Miss Maudie's yard. She had been watching us with a smile and an a-ok sign. Miss Maudie, I pray you have felt like this once.


	11. She Will Be Loved

That hot August day had turned into a hot August night. My window was open for a welcomed breeze but it looked like there would be none. I was completely naked with only my top sheet for coverage. How I wished Dill could just climb in with me and we could melt together. For now, I will simply wear his ring. I had it hidden in a safe place in my room because knowing the reaction I would get around the house, it was just best if me, Dill and Maudie knew about it and I planned on keeping it that way. So until I'm ready I will only wear this at nighttime or when Dill and I are alone together. I slipped the ring on my left finger and marveled at how much of a different meaning it would be if it were meant for it. The color or lack thereof regarding my birthstone was not doing this ring situation any favors. Stupid April birthday; why couldn't I be like Jem and be born in January? Certainly no one would suspect it to be an engagement ring had I had a red stone. Every one in Maycomb knew the old wive's tale about a bride marrying in red ought to wish herself dead. I like the purple for February, too but I don't think there's an old wive's tale for that...

"Scout," I heard Atticus knock on my door. "May I come in?"

"Sure, Atticus," I say, making sure I am completely covered with my sheet. He walks in with a smile that ultimately grows into a look of concern.

"Am I showing, Atticus?" He was getting me worried now.

"If you mean your new ring, yes you are showing."

Oh my God, my ring! I had forgotten to take it off! And it was on the wrong hand to boot!

"Atticus, it's my birthstone," I say as calmly as I can.

"Are you engaged?"

"No, but it's a promise ring. A promise that Dill and I will love each other no matter what. Though the odds are good we will get married _later_."

There is no point in hiding anything anymore. Mine and Dill's relationship was a real deal and I don't see a point in trying to hide it now. If I know my father, my Atticus, he would see that I was telling the truth and he would honor me for that. I breathed in deep as he sat next to me and I shivered when he put his hand to my forehead.

"You're okay, Scout," he chuckled as he began to rub my head.

"That feels really good, Atticus," I say as I stretch out. Boy, did this ever!

"I used to rub yours and Jem's heads all the time when you both were babies and little children."

"I remember."

"You children certainly aren't little children anymore."

"We're old children," I say with a giggle that makes Atticus giggle too. His hand leaves my head all too soon and then we just look at each other in a not very awkward silence. It was one of those looks when someone looks at you, you know they see you.

"Atticus," I finally say after a good few minutes.

"What?"

"Why don't you pick out a book for me and I'll read some to you?"

"I will do that," he went over to the bookshelf and stewed over which one he would like for me to read. I could have floated on air at this moment. "Here's one."

"_The Gray Ghost_, really?" I asked as he finally chooses the book he wants.

"Thought it would bring back memories," he said as he hands it to me.

"Okay, Atticus," I say as I turn to chapter one. It did bring back memories, too. After all these years, there's no place I'd rather be than in this bed reading to my father. I have a lot to thank Atticus for. When a good man raises a daughter, only a good man will do when she is grown. I don't think I could ever repay him but I'm sure that right now, in this moment, reading to him just as we always had done is enough for him.


	12. Frozen

"Why did today have to come?" I solemnly ask Dill as I watched him pack up last of his things. It was the fourth Monday in August and for me, my school year would begin that Wednesday. Dill's school year would start tomorrow and that meant he had to catch the early train back to Meridian. I got up at 5:30 just to watch him pack up and to tell him goodbye. Miss Rachel was just as much of a prude as Calpurnia and did not want me going with them to the station. Hell, I'm surprised she even let me come see him _before_ he was off to the station. I guess if we have to kiss each other goodbye we'd be better off doing it in private rather than public.

"I think you ask that every year," Dill commented.

"You're right. I can't wait for the day when I don't have to dread August."

"Listen," he said, coming over to me and picking me up off his bed by the shoulders. "We only have a few more years. A few more years and than we can do what we want when we want."

"It's too long for me," I cry out. I can't help but begin to sob. Why does everything good have to end? Dill wrapped his arms around me and began to kiss my neck. It tickled me and I began to giggle. He kept doing it until I pushed him away from me.

"I knew that would get you feeling good," he said.

"You are a devil, Dill Harris," I said in response.

"What are you going to do about it?" He was teasing me now.

"Absolutely nothing," I say, taking him back into my arms. I began to kiss his neck this time and he made a noise I never heard before.

"Are you all right?"

"Yeah, that just felt really good."

"Want me to do it again?"

"Yeah."

I was willing to do anything that would make Dill happy. If I had to kiss the sweet spot on his neck for an hour, I would do it. After the second neck kiss, I moved up to his ear, to his temple and to his cheek until my mouth found his lips. He held me tight as he kissed my lips back. Oh, how I wished it could go on longer but I knew we had to stop.

"Let's not get carried away," I say, holding myself back now.

"Yeah," Dill had to agree. "If Aunt Rachel knew what we were doing she would...she would..."

"Strip your room and disinfect it until the cows came home?"

"Yeah," he said. We shared a laugh over that.

"It's quarter of eight, Dill," I say, staring at the clock. "Your train leaves at nine."

"Don't remind me," he sighed as he went to pick his bags up off the bed.

"Hey," I say, punching his arm. "Where's the big, strong man who promised me only a few more years?"

"He got his neck kissed," he said with a smile. I was beginning to think I should be ashamed of myself. I walked back over to him as he turned around to face me. I took his face in my hands and kissed his lips one last time before we shared another glance. Tears fell onto my cheeks but Dill let them fall this time. I think he would have cried with me if Miss Rachel didn't walk through his always opened door.

"It's about time, Dill," she said like she was in a hurry.

"All right," Dill said, never taking his eyes off me.

"You can go home now, Jean Louise," she told me in a not very nice manner. I didn't care.

"All right," I said, never taking my eyes off of Dill. Even as he began to follow his aunt out the door.

"I love you," Dill said as he finally stepped foot outside his room.

"C'mon, Dill," Miss Rachel was mad now. "We don't have time for that!"

"I love you, too," I tell him, ignoring Miss Rachel. Dill turned himself back around and walked down Miss Rachel's stairs for the last time that summer. I stood at his doorway long after I hears Miss Rachel drive off with him. I couldn't leave and nobody seemed to care how frozen I was.


	13. War Is Over (Epilouge)

Train stations can either be the happiest place in the world or the saddest place in the world. It really depends on what or who a person is there for. I can safely say that everyone at the station today is happy. After three long years, my brother is coming home from Europe and the war is over. With Calpurnia on my left, Atticus on my right, and Dill right behind me, hugging me around the waist; I have never felt so complete as I do right now. I'm jumping out of my skin as the train wheels screech onto the platform.

The crowd at the station roars with applause as the train comes to a halt and the doors open for our veterens. One by one, soldiers still in uniform step of the train and into the arms of their family and/or sweethearts. My heart began to sink as it seems I waited for every last one of the soldiers to get off but no sign of my brother.

"Where do you suppose he is?"

That was when Dill kissed my temple. I flinched; those were not his kisses, nor were they Cal's or Atticus'. I turned around to see it was Jem who snuck up behind me to give me a surprise kiss. Dill and Atticus erupted with laughter at my reaction to seeing him. I jumped into my brother's arms and we kissed each other's cheeks. He looked so tan, thin and...grown up. He looked like he aged thirteen years in three. I guess that's what war can do to a person. I didn't care; he looked like a dream to me and it was one of those moments where you understand just how much someone means to you. I never wanted to let my brother go.

"Jem," Dill piped up, hugging me from behind again. "Take a look at this."

Dill had grabbed my left hand and showed off my new ring that he gave me. It was a garnet stone with a gold band. Jem took my hand and studied it for a while; he didn't quite know what to think. I'm not so sure he even knew what we were trying to tell him.

"It's your birthstone," I said.

"Yeah, I know," he said. "What are you trying to tell me?"

"I know we didn't consult you with our engagement," Dill spoke up. "I wanted to make sure you didn't feel so left out. Scout told me she loved the color of your birthstone so I thought I would honor you with making her engagement ring a garnet one."

"That's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me," Jem said as he pulled Dill into a hug. "Congratulations, man."

"Thanks," Dill replied, hugging him back.

"My little sister's getting married," he said, pulling me into a hug with a free arm. "I can't believe it."

"You can't?" Atticus chuckled.

"Hey, Atticus," Jem walked over and finally embraced him. The tears were really flowing freely from my eyes now.

"Hey, Cal," he said, making his way over to her. Cal greeted him with a hug and a kiss.

"Welcome home, Mister Jem," she said. Her voice was becoming weak in her old years. Every year, little by little, she would come off as less stern than before. I know we always didn't get along but I still thank God everyday I still have her.

I take one more look around the train station and then back to my own family. We were all together again, if only in this moment. I prayed that I would only continue to cry happy tears for years to come...


End file.
